Yep, there's simply too much to write about and my mood is so unreliable that I fear publishing a bunch of cranky whining and existential angst. The following is a list of my current preoccupations:
1. finding a part-time job in Boston
2. thinking about moving in with my new 85-year-old roommate in (less than) two weeks
3. related to the above - considering how to most efficiently move my scattered possessions to Boston and trying not to consider the responsibilities I will bear for helping said roommate
4. what to do about parking at my new home: there's no overnight street parking in Brookline and it costs upwards of $120/month to rent a parking space in a garage.
5. my internship and whether or not I am spending enough time/doing good work/impressing my boss or, alternately, able to find something of value for myself in all this (ie. why am I doing this in the first place?)
6. grad school applications - where? why? how? can I bring myself to write a personal statement? will I get everything in on time? do I really want to pursue more education? is sociology the right discipline for me?

Lying awake at night, as I am prone to do more and more often lately, these topics run through my head, along with concerns about my parents' eventual death, my long-term relationship with an alcoholic, my inability to feel any lasting ambition, and other cheery concerns. I am most definitely in the midst of some sort of depression - I am a fairly high-functioning depressive. Every day I get up, work on my internship, apply for a few more jobs, research grad programs, and get through the day. Some days I feel more positive and hopeful; I enjoy my work/research/applications. Some days I just want to stay in bed.

For today, things are looking up. There's a savory pot roast slow-cooking on the stove. The sky is blue and crystalline, the way it gets when the temperature starts dropping along with the leaves. I have an appointment with a temp agency for Monday; this will get me out of the house and make me feel like I am doing something concrete to get myself a job. Despite feeling extremely lazy when I got up this morning, I managed to work on my internship task for 1.5 hours, leaving me only 2.5 hours more to fulfill my daily (self-imposed) goal. I read an article in the New Yorker that got my intellectual juices flowing and gave me some ideas about topics for my grad school essay. I am safe, warm, and in a familiar place for the moment. Who could ask for anything more?