I've got to get over this whole "only post when I have something to say" fetish. I have nothing to say, and I write this proudly. Over the last two days, I have read blogs, checked my email often, read 2 romance novels and a New Yorker, watched an entire season of Entourage + 2 episodes of Deadwood, cleaned out K's spare room and set up an office, exercised once, and started a new diet. I think this list might comprise a busy 48-hour period for some and a disgusting lack of activity for others. For me, it falls somewhere in the middle. Which is to say, I will never be satisfied with the amount I am doing. What I really want for this vacation is to be completely relaxed AND satisfied. This combination is one I have rarely achieved, but I always seem to expect it of myself. I have this gnawing feeling that maybe I am relaxed and satisfied, underneath all my anxiety and consternation, but I just can't tell.

I keep trying to make little plans for myself, but invariably end up reneging. Today, I thought I'd go to Horseneck Beach but now that seems wildly ambitious. I feel isolated and stuck. But I think I am not really isolated or stuck, I just feel that way. I'm trying to strike a healthy balance between feeling my emotions fully and total denial. So, part of the day I wallow and part of the day I escape.

Tonight, K and I will go to the movies to see Knocked Up. Tomorrow, we will explore Providence a bit.